FUCK

Oh shit, I can't tell who's luckier...Diplo & Aoki or that chick! 

P.S. This FUCK post is super "fuck." I'm serious. Three out of five tracks are laced from head to toe with sexy female vocals. Shit's dope, 'cus we're dope, and you're dope. And dubstep is dope. And SFP™ is DOPE!

Promises (Skrillex & NERO Remix) - NERO
De-fucking-licious. A track about all the possibilities that come when promises are kept. It's fresh new Skrillex, and the only promise I fucking care about is his promise to deliver eargasms to us time and again even after all the shit he's had stolen from him. Let me just say, Skrillex's word is golden. Fuck you and thank you.

Crave You (Adventure Club Dubstep Remix) - Flight Facilities
How perfect is this title? You guys know what I'm talking 'bout. All the way from Montreal, Adventure Club has proven themselves as a dubstep-duo that can pull off the most climactic and freshest of eargasms, completely changing the original tracks they are given and establishing a name all for themselves independent of any preconceptions you ever had. 

Daisy (Adventure Club Dubstep Remix) - Brand New
More from Adventure Club. This one has male vocals instead, and girls, I imagine the dude has hot scruff and even hotter other stuff (wow, rhyming is fun...?) Just in: I googled a picture of Brand New and they're not very attractive. Whatever. What you don't know won't hurt you, right? 

Someone Elses (Document One Remix) - Borgore ft. Adi Ulmansky
Borgore is... well, Borgore. And I'm a Borgore-Whore. His sound really is inimitable. Plus Adi Ulmansky's vocals are smooth as silk, and she's also really pretty, and fun fact: she's from Jerusalem (Borgore's from Tel Aviv if you care). What's more, he re-tweeted me on Twitter (duh) today, and it made me jump up and down for joy on my dildo (just kidding I don't have a dildo that's gross what the fuck is wrong with you!?)

I Know The Truth (Bonnaroo 2011) - Pretty Lights
I can't explain why this is so sexual to me. Pretty Lights dropped it at Bonnaroo as you can see from the title because you're not stupid. If you were stupid you would be on some other website. Ha! +++

xx, Opt!mus Gr!me

FUCK

I don't know where you're at, but where I'm at (Miami), it's a rainy, cloudy, dark day. But that's not always a shitty thing. Tacit or not, I think we should all know cloudy days spent outside are nothing more and nothing less than: Secret Orgy Days. 

See what I mean? Yeah, you'd never guess it...'til now. (boom)

(and in case you haven't already, click Like on the Facebook plugin box to the right, dammit!)

Bang Her (Original Mix) - James Kennedy So you can tell why I put this particular electro track first. The title really couldn't get any more next level.

We Came To Smash - Martin Solveig feat. Dev Behold, the latest track to be released off Solveig's new album, Smash. And remember Dev? Oh yeah, she's the bitch from 'Bass Down Low.' Pussy smash to this.


Hop On Hop Off (Pascal & Pearce Remix) - Goodluck and Hop On Hop Off  (Swanky Tunes Remix) - Goodluck Please oh please, listen on the lyrics more than anything. It really doesn't get any more real than this. The first has a total 1920's swag (shout-out to all of you who actually went to see Midnight in Paris) while the second screams electro-house-banger. Catch them both. You know you love SFP™.  +++

Empty Streets (Abel Ramos Mix Short Edit) - Kaskade (feat. Becky Jean Williams) Officially released 6 fucking hours ago on  Kaskade's Soundcloud. Lyrical preview: "If love's not meant to be, if the heart's not ready to open, if we make it I won't see-- how it's broken." Sweet but real talk.

Pandemonium (Original Mix) - David Guetta & Afrojack Feat. Carmen I know what you're thinking, this isn't the type of shit I ever post. Sure, I post some Guetta, some Afrojack, some Carmen (just kidding... who the fuck is Carmen?) but for starters, the "wooooo" vocals sound like some bullshit you hear on the radio, but hell It's only about two days new and if you wait a bit, the part where you can tell Afrojack comes in is HEAVY. (Admit you love it, slut!)

Chupacabra (Original Mix) - Motobu A hard-hitting electro banger straight from me to you. All I have to say is, when you're listening to this with him or her-- act like a chupacabra!

Dead Scrapyard (Original Mix) - Devin Martin I really like this. And when the guitar comes in, you know it's go time. The concentrated final build up from about 1:40 to 1:56 is ridiculously sexy and that coupled with the drop at 1:59, just before the minute mark hits, will kill you. Plus, the male vocals yelling "it's alive" freak you out, you fucking freak in the sack. Climax to this. 

I Hate You (D.R.A.M.A. Remix) - Erxon, Spinne Feat. LeeLooJamais Sounds like nothing else on this post. It's brazed with tight female vocals, but I'll let you hear for yourself. (Oh yeah, this is what she'll be "serenading" you with if you don't call her back, so be a man and please do so? Thanks.)

And finally, you two cool off to this together. You've earned it. And if you're diggin' these sexy female vocals, download them here (full track).

Bonobo - Stay The Same ft. Andreya Triana (Soundsome Remix) by Soundsome

You'll never look at nuns the same way (...or nuns' buns, for that matter).

SLEEP

Lights (Bassnecar Remix) - Ellie Goulding We've already brought you the Dream Dubstep Remix to this, now, behold the Bassnectar Remix. You're welcome.

Re-Stacks (Tomas Barfod Remix) - Bon Iver American indie folk for all your sleepin' needs, sonnn. Remixxes never hurt.

Skinny Love (Das Kapital Rerub) - Bon Iver So beautiful. If you go through life without sleeping or smoking to this (or both), you haven't really lived, have ya?


Givin' up (Don Diablo Remix) - One eskimO Pretty lyrics to a pretty fuckin' tune.

LSF - Kasabian A goblin showed me this song. And I fucking love my goblin.

Rococo - Arcade Fire Award-winning indie rock. That is all. And is it unadulterated? You bet your ass it is.

All I Need (Radiohead Cover) - Banjo or Freakout You've definitely heard the original, and you fucking loved passing out to it, so why not explore the amp'd up ethereal version (pronounce like virgin)?

Rude Boy - Zeds Dead No, this isn't dubstep Rihanna. And if you thought it was, go home.

Bonus for cultured people: Playground Love - Air Fucking classic. Never gets old. Wait... this is on the soundtrack of The Virgin Suicides, FTW!

Love ya, 
Opt!mus Gr!me

FUCK

Get ready, because right here, right now, Opt!mus Gr!me is throwin' out a MASSIVE FUCKING POST. 100% unadulterated, 100% neon wobblez, 100% delicious grime for your lovin', sonnnnn! This shit'll blow your mind while they (down there) are blowin' you.

Death (Crystal Castles Remix) - White Lies Crazy ass grime and bass juxtaposed to soothing vocals that make you ask the ever-pending question, "what the fuck happened last night?"
I Feel Cream (Cory Enemy Remix) - Peaches Classic Peaches (remember "suckin' on ma titties like you wanted me, calling me, all the time like Blondie check out my chrissy behind"? Yeah. Of course you fuckin' do.)

Travellers (Sharooz Re-Edit) - Opptimo Slow and symphonic, like it should be.

Travellers (Phonat remix) - Opptimo Lil' bit more of a 70s feel to the same rad shit!

Lights (Dream Dubstep Remix) - Ellie Goulding Oh c'mon, it's Ellie Goulding. If this won't get you in the mood, I don't know what will.

The City (ZeroPointOne Remix) - Milosh Sad sad sad. You know what to do.

Everybody (Figure Dubstep Remix) - Figure Your body, my body, everybody move your bod-ayyy.

A Life Worth Living (Jakwob Remix) - Alan Pownall Indispensable re-post of my favorite track ever created (and elucidated). 

And if you've made it this far, here's some FRESH DIPLO FOR YA' :

Tell 'Em - Sleigh Bells Original noise pop. Be on the look out for Sleigh Bells. We're telling you now, they're gonna get h u g e. Thanks Diplo and Beyonce!

Tell 'Em (Diplo Remix) - Sleigh Bells Ultra-sexxified from Diplodocus, the deity that answers all your weekend prayers.

SLEEP

by Sam Haskins 

Forty Winks - DJ Bahler Hmmmm... I know you miss Sleepy Head. Get with it.

Classic xx sleep remixxes:

Shelter (Death to the Throne Remix) - The xx

VCR (Matthew Dear Remix) - The xx

Disco Lies (The Dusty Kid's Fears Remix) - Moby This tracks sucks you in and spits you right back out... right into your bed that is. Support the bald community yo! C'mon, nobody knows a pillow like Moby.

Replenish - Bassnectar Nobody does it like Bassnectar. While most produce catchy wompage, Bass goes classic. Hardcore will never die.

These Habits - Oliver Koletzki feat Pyur Fall asleep to a woman whispering in your ear about how much she wants it. Win? I think so.

Gone - Caroline And if you're wondering what that girl's name is up there, it's Caroline. And she has a song for you. You're fucking welcome.

Love ya,

Opt!mus Gr!me

And a bonus: another Daisy Lowe video. Clearly, she was the pick of the month. Get ready for February. +++

Daisy Lowe for Blast Magazine from Patrick Fraser on Vimeo.

FUCK

Bass Down Low (feat. Dev) (Proper Villains Remix) - The Cataracs IF YOU WANNA GET WITH ME THERE'S SOME THINGS YOU GOTTA KNOW, I LIKE MY BEATS FAST AND MY BASS DOWN LOW! +++

The Island (Statelapse Remix) - Pendulum Well I think it's romantic.

Orgasm (Hardstyle) - DJ Pawa Might be too intense, but try it out yu'sself. 

Everybody (Don Diablo Remix) - Rudenko Don Diablo never fucking fails. He's the king of sexy. Again with the moaning: plus one. Wait... plus five. Ah, that's better.

FUSE - Hudson Mohawke Raw tempo. Nice and sweet. Speeds up and slows you down when it's right. Perfection.

Love ya,

Opt!mus Gr!me